i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Still dying that you shit outside
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
