My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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