Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
