Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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