Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
