so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
