can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
50% drunk capacity currently
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
