Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
