He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
should my penis look like a turkey
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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