Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
