We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
