He kissed a someone with a penis
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
