I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
