i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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