i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
