I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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