RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
