i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
