dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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