I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
