I think scott just propositioned me for sex
lets start a swedish sibling band together
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
