i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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