Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
