can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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