i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
