i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
