There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
