idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
