Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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