I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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