weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
