You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
