I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
