Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
