are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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