I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
