Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
