Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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