I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
