Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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