Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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