drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
