You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
