i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
