I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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