If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
They took my balls.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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