When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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