I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
