Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
