Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
