you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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